last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
