I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
