Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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