FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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