I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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