I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
