i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
