I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
