I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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