u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
