Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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