I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
