It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Randomize
