I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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