my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
