The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
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