I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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