i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize