Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
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