we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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