Have you finally orgasmed yet?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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