Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Randomize
