I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize