i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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