why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just forgot I was standing up.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
