What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
try to milk me bitch
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
