sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
