the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
you traded sex for a burrito?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
