Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
