it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I understand Curling. That high.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize