yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
