i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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