You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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