where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
We left the knife in your bed.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
