Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
i need some magic done to my vagina
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
