Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Actions speak louder than pants.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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