Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
