Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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