She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize