She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize