I'm laying in your front yard are you home
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
