I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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