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• (773): View more from Illinois

  he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Farmville is her only friend.

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.

  Fav 5 1278 2785

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  He asked if I wanted to "hang out"

  (410): View more from Maryland

  A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"

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• (707): View more from California

  You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it

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• (315): View more from New York

  Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid

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• (276): View more from Virginia

  Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?

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• (903): View more from Texas

  After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life

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• (985): View more from Louisiana

  Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.

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