Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
