ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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