Well douche your snatch and let's go!
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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