Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize