i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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