well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize