so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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