well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
