Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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