her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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