Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
