mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
